23 July 2008

Interviewer and interviewee

. 23 July 2008
10 comments

Interviewer: Your Name?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Tell me properly.
Interviewee: Mohan Pal, Sir.

Interviewer: Your father's name?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: What dose that mean?
Interviewee: Manmohan Pal, Sir.

Interviewer: Your native place?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Madhya Pradesh?
Interviewee: No, Munnur Pal, Sir.

Interviewer: What is your qualification?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer (Angrily): What is it?
Interviewee: Matric Pass.

Interviewer: Why do you need a job?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: And what does that mean?
Interviewee: Money problem, Sir.

Interviewer: Describe your personality.
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Explain yourself clearly.
Interviewee: Magnanimous personality, Sir.

Interviewer: This discussion is now over. You may go now.
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: What is it now?
Interviewee: My performance, Sir?

Interviewer: M.P.!!!
Interviewee: What is that, Sir.
Interviewer: Mentally punctured!

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15 July 2008

Stranded

. 15 July 2008
1 comments

This guy is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “it’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “it’s not a boat.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “it’s not a raft.”

Then,out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.

She comes up to the guy and says, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”

“Ten years!” he says.

She reaches over unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.

He takes one,lights it, takes a long drag, and says, “Man, oh man! Is that good!”

Then she asked, “How long has it been since you’ve had a drink of whiskey?”

He replies, “Ten years!”

She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.

He take a long swig and says “wow that’s fantastic!”

Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, “And how long has it been since you’ve had some REAL fun?”

And the man replies, “My God! Don’t tell me that you’ve got golf clubs in there!”

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05 July 2008

The best part of waking up

. 05 July 2008
1 comments

Mois has been lying ill for weeks. A few days ago he slipped into a coma and everyone feared the worst. The family is called. The son from Miami. The daughter from Bridgewater. The aunts,the uncles, all sit waiting for the end.

Suddenly a miracle! Mois open his eyes. Weakly he motions for his son to approach so he can hear talk to him. Mois is weak from the illness and so his voice is very faint as he says, “I’ve been ill?”

“Yes, Papa,” replies the son with tears choking his voice, “very ill”

The papa nods and speak again. “I had a dream. I was nearing death when I suddenly smelled the aroma of your mother’s apple strudel. As wonderful a cook as my Sadie is, that strudel is her masterpiece. “He lays back against the pillow weak from the exertion of speaking.

“What a wonderful dream,papa. But the smell is real. Mama just took the strudel out of the oven to cool.”

“A miracle!” cries Mois as he tries to rise, and weakly fall against the pillows. He turns to his sons and says, “I’m still too weak to get up. Go to the kitchen and get for me a piece of Sadie’s strudel.”

The son obediently rises and leaves the room to fulfill his father’s request, only to return a few moments later empty handed. He sits again by his father’s side.

Mois looks at him and says, “Where is the strudel?”

The son replies, “I’m sorry,Papa. Mama says It’s for AFTER the FUNERAL!”

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